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    I have often sat and tried to think of things I struggle with so I can get better. I have some pretty standard ones like pride or putting someone down, but it wasn't until Rick Dake talked about "Why Jesus" that I really found my deep rooted sin. He said something to the effect of "if you hurt my daughter, I'll kill you." Those words triggered a memory I had stashed in the filing cabinet mind of mine. 
    I have often thought of how I would respond if someone hurt my daughter (if I ever have one). But I know from similar past experience that I would really struggle with anger and forgiveness. The experience I speak of is learning of two different men at different times hurting my sisters. I won't go into details, but I saw the actions of these men wound my sisters deeply. I always said (in my mind) that if you hurt my family, I'll kill you. They seriously hurt my family.
    In the days and weeks following those events I fought myself internally in a battle of drastic proportions. I have heard the great stories of forgiveness and healing that have occurred through the ones hurt revealing their forgiveness to their oppressor. I had also heard of men being a real man and standing up for his family. Punishment for them would have been just. I had many people offer to drive and bring their shovel.
    "Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.  Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure." -Marianne Williamson. I know that I am a powerful man in a physical sense. I have had years of athletic training to make me so. I also know I have the potential to be far more powerful in a spiritual sense if I give up my self-righteousness for Christ-righteousness. So the original question was "why Jesus?" Because my capabilities would be directed in ways unholy if not. Because I would probably be in jail or at least have a record if not. Because I want to fight the spiritual battles of this world to help prevent others from experience my sisters' (and my) pain. My sisters have moved on from these issues of past. It is time for me to move on as well. I must forgive. We must forgive.

 


Comments

Amanda
09/19/2012 7:51pm

Duncan, I love you so much and really enjoy reading your blogs. This one obviously struck a bit of a chord... in a great way of course. The world may not understand forgiveness, shoot, many Christians don't fully understand. It took me a long time to fully forgive, it took a moment of realizing that holding onto the anger was only effecting me and my walk. Anger and bitterness are the sneaky burdens you don't always realize you are carrying until you let them go. Again.. ever thankful to have you as my brother. I'd say I'm sorry for the stress Bre and I caused, but then again, this blog entry wouldn't exist... :) love you

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Duncan
09/20/2012 3:29pm

Amen Mandy!!! Love you too

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Duncan
09/20/2012 3:35pm

Questions to consider:
1. How often do you do a self-inventory to try to improve yourself?

2. Do you have anyone in your life (like Pastor Rick) who can help reveal your blind spots? If not, what would it take to get one?

3. In what ways can unforgiveness hinder our walk with Christ?

4. What things are you passionate about that could inspire your purpose?

5. Could you confidently answer the question "why Jesus?"

6. Why Jesus?

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